“Do you want to know how I know Jesus loves me?” I asked the person helping me at the hardware store.

“Jesus loves everybody,” he said.

“Yes, but I know for certain that Jesus loves me.” I was suddenly aware that this was sounding a lot like a sales pitch for Jesus. This isn’t like that t-shirt that says, “Jesus loves you but I’m his favorite.” This is a “Did I just get lucky or what!?” moment.

Enter Joe Friday: “Ladies and gentlemen: the story you are about to hear is true. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent.” I wish I could change my name to protect my innocence, but I am guilty…really guilty.

Let me start by reminding you that I am a pastor. I’m not one of the many men and women I have known that left successful businesses to go into the ministry. They were leaders and innovators. They had skills. Not me. It isn’t that I can’t do anything because I can. I’m just not good at much. This will become evident in short order.

The plug and receptacle for my dryer started to burn up. If my wonderfully smart bride had not thought of turning off the dryer, I would be typing this from a room at my folk’s house or from some hotel business center. Obviously, the receptacle would need changing and I thought, “How hard can it be?” After all, I have XY chromosomes and that means that I am expected to be able to do these things (Cue the sound track to Jaws).

Remember, I am a pastor for a reason. I knew I should talk to someone that knows about this kind of stuff and get some advice. His words still echo in my ears. He said, “Remember to turn off the circuit breaker!”

I went to the box where all the circuit breakers hangout and looked for one that would turn the power off to the laundry area. Some of you are way ahead of me in the story, but I have a couple hundred words to write, so go and get a cookie or pop or something and come back in a few.

Now, with the power off and my screwdriver in hand, I proceeded to remove the cover, loosen the wires, and take the box off the wall. I was bending wires, pulling them out with my fingers and with my screwdriver. Then, I started to pull the box down and it happened.

A metal ring that I’m sure has a name and a purpose passed over the wires and the touched the bare copper wires that I had so carefully separated. There was a huge spark with a loud snapping sound and then darkness and silence. I flipped the wrong switch and was doing all of that with the power on!

I was pretty freaked out with more than one CSI scenario running through my head and my mother’s voice reminding me to wear clean underwear. The prayer I prayed was not eloquent nor was it lengthy. It was, however, sincere.

“Jesus loves small children, dumb animals, and stupid pastors! And that’s how I know that Jesus loves me. ” I said

I don’t know a lot about electricity. I do know more today than I did yesterday, but that still isn’t much. It would have been so much easier to call a friend and have them come over to help. Even if they knew as much about electricity as me, at least I could call 911 if they messed up. At best, I would have learned enough from them to know what I can and cannot do in the future.

We could all use someone that knows what we should and shouldn’t do. We could all use someone that would give us the best way to live life. Sure, you and I get lucky on a pretty regular basis, but how many lives do we really have to waste of stupid mistakes?

Since this is on my blog you can probably finish the rest of the thought. If you’ve got questions, your pastor will have some answers. Give him or her a try. They might not know electricity, but they do know Jesus.