There are times when I have perceived that someone has wronged me and I know that I should confront that person about their actions. This is important because they should know that the things they are doing are hurting others and ultimately themselves. If they continue on their chosen path, there will be serious consequences for those actions. Out of that concern, I make plans to confront.

That sounds so spiritual. But if I am honest with myself, I’m just a hurt little kid that wants the other person to hurt, too. I want them to feel the pain I felt, even if they were unaware of the pain they caused me. Correction is not what I am after. I am after revenge.

There is nothing noble about my actions.

Most times we simply need to let go.

There were two monks that were walking down a path. Before them was a river. Normally it was easily crossed, not so this day. The rains had swollen the river and the waters were rushing past, making the crossing dangerous.

At the river’s edge stood a woman. The monks were not allowed to converse with women or have contact with them.

The one monk, without saying a word, got the woman to climb on his back and they carefully crossed to the other side. After crossing he gently let the woman down and continued on his journey.

After several miles the other monk looked at his fellow monk with disgust.

He said, “How could you take your vows so lightly and carry that woman across the river?”

His friend replied, “I put her down as soon as we crossed the river. It is you that has carried her this far.”

What I think is needed most of all is to loosen our grasp on many of the things that we feel must be dealt with.

If we feel something is truly worthy of confrontation, wouldn’t it be great if we would take the time and give someone permission to test our motivations for the encounter we desire. I know how capable I am at deceiving myself. I know I need those people in my life to keep me from doing harm in the name of Jesus.

What about you? Are you always sure of your motives?